Teen Mum: Life with a baby

Kathryn Stowell tells her exclusive story to whtvr.org about being a young mum.

Let me start my story by saying I’m one of the lucky ones. I realise that. I’m a young girl who made mistakes, dealt with them and somehow, with a lot of help from my family and friends, made it through.

I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant. Even though I was terrified, it wasn’t too much of a shock. I had been with my boyfriend for three years and he even seemed happy, but that didn’t make it any easier.

My mum guessed before I told her. She was upset but both her and my dad were supportive and promised to be there every step of the way. They were even happy for me to stay at home while I found my feet. All my other family members and friends were also fantastic. I was very lucky because I know a lot of young girls find themselves disowned by their family and friends.

"Once everyone knew, reality set in."

No more social life, enjoying nights out with my friends, no more pretty clothes, no more wasting money on myself, and possibly even no university. And then there are the changes to your body. The horrendous morning sickness, constant toilet breaks, growing stomach, and nasty stretch marks meant that I rarely felt like myself.

I was in the middle of my media diploma, which I eventually passed with flying colours at seven months pregnant! A fantastic teacher on the course came to me with a great idea. He ran a professional writing foundation degree, the hours were relatively flexible and you only attended the college three days a week. I was promised a lot of leeway and I even got help with my tuition fees and childcare costs. It seemed perfect. But, I still had to get through the birth of my child.

On the August 21 2008, I went into labour at 5.30am. I was having contractions every five minutes for 18 hours. The pain was indescribable. It is the most undignified experience any girl or women will ever face, but also the most rewarding. At 10.42pm Lily-Rose was born, weighing 7lbs 13ozs.

"When Lily was just two weeks old, I went back to college to begin my foundation degree."

The midnight feeds and nappy changing made it tiring but I knew I had to do it, for me and my daughter.

Lily is now a lovely, happy little nine-month old girl. Life is tough at times as I never get a minute to myself, but I’m still going to university and I wouldn’t change anything about my experience.

It’s so easy to be just another statistic. People judge you for being a young mum. The bottom line is that you have to work twice as hard and don’t lose sight of your dreams. And remember, I was one of the lucky ones. Many girls aren’t lucky enough to have such supportive families and a partner who has stuck around. I wouldn’t change being a teen mum, but I wouldn’t recommend it either.

It’s your life and you should live it. Chase your dreams and ambitions so your child can one day do the same.

Contacts for advice

Connexions
connexions-direct.com
Advice and information for young people on everything including relationships, education, careers, money and more.

Brook
E: www.brook.org.uk
T: 0800 018 5023
Free and confidential sexual health advice and contraception to young people up to the age of 25.

It Started With a Kiss
www.itstartedwithakiss.nhs.uk
A free and confidential contraception and sexual health advice service.